Oh dear. Oh dolly!

Now Dolly Parton, I know that you're seen as bit of a legend in the country music scene; but listening to you cover Zepplin's most famous number brought tears to my eyes for all the wrong reasons. Actually, it made me think that maybe if I was born deaf, I wouldn't have had to endure the six minutes and 28 seconds of pure aural nausea such as this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp8-tJTUWto

Let me start by saying that I believe, there never has been, or never will be a song with such deep meaning, beautiful tuning and perfect guitar rifts as the one that is Stairway to Heaven by the Kings Of Guitar themselves, Led Zepplin.

The song begins as a slow acoustic-based folk song accompanied magnificently by recorders, before the electric instrumentation is introduced. And when it is introduced, there's only one phrase to sum it up; out of this world.  The final section is a high-tempo hard rock section highlighted by an intricate guitar solo by Page. And what a solo it is! It's dramatic, pure and above all, utter perfection. Then again, we wouldn't expect any less than perfection of from Page.
The song was released as part of  the album Led Zepplin IV in 1972 and was voted number 3 in 2000 by VH1 on its list of the 100 Greatest Rock Songs. It was the most requested song on FM radio stations in the United States in the 1970s, despite never having been released as a single there. I suppose that says it all; the song was adored. And rightly so: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9TGj2jrJk8

Then, along came Miss Parton and her choir with yet another ballsy, unorthodox cover of one of rock's most treasured songs and turned a classic into a crank. Oh Dolly!
When being interviewed by church pastor and news editor Rick Clark about her choice to cover the classic, Dolly said: "I'm sure some of them will think it's a big joke. I'm sure some of them are going to want to crucify me, and maybe they will. But in all sincerity, I did it because I love the song."
Take a look here to see the full  interview: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20America/CCM/dolly_parton-exposed.htm

Well Dolly, needless to say, a lot of us also "love the song", the only difference is, you don't see us turning gold into muck.

My generation.,

Oh Hilary. Stick with the chick flicks, love. I'm sure you're a lovely girl and I thought you were great in Cheaper By The Dozen; but it's when you decide to cover one of the nations best loved rock bands like "The Who" that my mean side comes out and I just have to tell you how horrific your singing voice is.


My Generation is a song by the British rock group The Who. This song became a huge hit and is to this date, one of their most recognizable songs. It has entered the rock and roll pantheon as one of the most celebrated and referenced songs in the idiom. It was named the 11th greatest song by Rolling Stone on their list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time and 13th on VH1's list of the 100 Greatest Songs of Rock & Roll.
The song was released as a single on 5 November 1965, reaching number 2 in the UK (Who's highest charting single in their home country) and number 74 in America. So, needless to say, it has to be a great song, right? RIGHT!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=594WLzzb3JI

I believe that  the most striking element of this song are the lyrics, considered one of the most distilled statements of youthful rebellion in rock history. The tone of the track alone helped make it an acknowledged forebear of the punk rock movement. One of the most-quoted and rewritten lines in rock history is "I hope I die before I get old", famously sneered by lead singer Roger Daltrey. God knows, I even know a person with that line inked accross his back. In a later interview with the band, Townshend who reportedly wrote the song whilst on a train journey said that when he wrote that line "old" meant "rich."

There has been many covers of this song from some of our mose well known and respected artists such as Oasis, Iron Maiden and Alice Cooper, and I'll admit, I thought the Oasis version was absolutely incredible. But as for Hilary, I'd rather listen to genetilia being scratched off a cheese grater than listen to her version of My Generation one more time. Diabolical isn't a strong enough word. Am i being too harsh? Decide for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvC6jDrxT-U

Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

William Shanter, who is this dude and why is he destroying one of out greatest Beatles classics?
When I first heard Shanter's version of one of my all time favorites, I thought it was one of those parody videos where some weird looking guy just takes the piss out of an amazing song and changes the words around a bit to get a reaction from the audience. So you can imagine the shock I had when I found out that Shanter did all of these things, except seriously expecting to make a hit record out of it. Dear oh dear. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-yy2URAYqU

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds was written by John Lennon and Paul Mc Carthy for the groups 1967 album, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.
At the time of its release, the Beatles claimed that the inspiration for the song came from a drawing by John Lennon's son, Julian, which he called "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds". The song sparked controversy when released, including being banned by the BBC because of the supposed reference to the drug LSD with the first letter of each noun in the title spelling LSD. Although Lennon denied that the L-S-D in the title was a reference to the drug, McCartney later said that it was "pretty obvious" that the song was inspired by LSD.
Rolling Stone magazine described the song as "Lennon's lavish daydream" and music critic Ritchie Unterberger said "'Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds' was one of the best songs on the Beatles' famous Sgt. Pepper album, and one of the classic songs of psychedelia as a whole. There are few other songs that so successfully evoke a dream world, in both the sonic textures and words." And if you listen to The Beatles version, it is, undoubtably incredible. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7F2X3rSSCU

Although both versions of the song got the LSD effect spot with bright lights, floating objects and colours, what really surprised me after listening to both Shanter's version of Lucy in the Sky and The Beatles version was not only did Shanter get millions of listeners, he also got thousands of youtube fans saying how fantastic his cover was. One or two listeners even went to say that they "preferred" this guy's version of the classic. Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh on Mister Shanter, but then again, any Beatles fan would be. Perhaps his version of the song isn't as woeful to other peoples ears as it is to my own but my God, it'd leave any Beatles fanatic crying into their ipod anyday.

Ronan's living in a fairytale if he thinks he can beat Shane.

I can't say I've ever been a big fan og Mister Keating. Actually, I've always seemed to call him the King of Karaoke and make a joke about how he sings through his nose. However, I did respect him for embracing the fact that he was Irish, that is until he took Shane MacGowan's epic Broadway tussle and turned it into to the aural equivalent of a trip round Tesco with his granny. 
He changed the line: 'You cheap, lousy faggot' to 'you're cheap and you're haggard' because he 'wouldn't want to offend anyone'.Take a listen and you'll realise that, quite frankly, he failed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daAG5JfNNFQ

Fairytale of New York was released by the Pogues along with british singer Kirsty Macoll. The song was written by Shane McGowan and Jim Finer. 
The song takes the form of a drunken man's Christmas Eve reverie about holidays past while sleeping off a binge drinking session in a New York City. The remainder of the song  takes the form of a monologue between two Irish immigrants, lovers or ex-lovers. Throughout the song they speak about how their youthful hopes were crushed by alcoholism and drug addiction as they reminisce and bicker on Christmas Eve.

MacColl's melodious singing contrasts with the harshness of MacGowan's voice. The lyrics are sometimes sometimes bittersweet and more times just plain bitter as they sing: "Happy Christmas your arse/ I pray God it's our last". The lyric "Sinatra was swinging" is likely an allusion to Sinatra's "New York, New York," which was very popular in Ireland at the time, a reference to the problems of emigration, especially amongst the Irish who often emigrated to New York without a penny in their pockets in a desperate attempt to find work. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrAwK9juhhY


So when push comes to shove, one has to sit back and think. What does Ronan Keating really know about poverty, alcohol addiction and rural Ireland compared to Shane McGowan who is more than 20 years his senior, has grown up in poverty and battled with alcolism for his entire life? I'm just praying to God that Ronan honeatly didn't thing that he could portray in his voice the same amount of spirit and knowledge when covering this Irish classic. Because if he did, not only would he be singing through his nose, he'd be talking through his arse. 

Celinastacia doesn't shake this number!

Oh Celine, Celine and ANASTACIA! Wouldn't you think that they'd have more sense than to try break into the heavy rock category? But no, off they went trying to make a hit out of a song which most would agree is one of the biggest rock classics of all time : "You Shook Me All Night Long."

"You Shook Me All Night Long" has been placed at No.10 on VH1's list of "The 100 Greatest Songs of the 80s". It was also No.1 on VH1's "Top Ten AC/DC Songs". In the song, the lead singer Brian Johnson relates the story of a night with a beautiful woman. Guitar world also placed "You Shook Me All Night Long" number 80 on their "100 Greatest Guitar Solos" list. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bomv-6CJSfM

Without doubt, this is one of if the most famous out of any of the AC/DChit records. Any why is it the most famous? Because it's original, it's hot and above all because its not Celine Dion who should desperately consider sticking to her wedding reception type songs instead of breaking into rock and roll because let me tell you Celine, it's not for you.

The first time I heard the cover of this somg I can honestly say I was sickened. Before then I'd had so much respect for Anastacia and so much...acceptence for Celine. But come on, a person can only take so much of listening to a great song that's been desperately transformed into a piss take before they blow their fuse. Well, I suppose I do have a pretty short fuse to begine with but still, listening to AC/DC sing about a night of passion with a really hot woman who "knocked them out with her American thighs" is so much more appealing than imagining the sex lives of Celine dion as she changes "she" to "he" in that section and leaves the audience imagining her with some big thighed, pot bellied American aristcrat. Just take a listen and you'll feel my pain: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHtuGMHWAf0&NR=1.

"When I'm on stage the savage in me is released. It's like going back to being a cave man. It takes me six hours to come down after a show" -Angus Young AC/DC


I wonder if Celine and Anastecia can say the same after destroying their song in live concert.

Twinilla Ice Ice Baby!

Oh My! What is the world coming to?
Back in the day, if you asked someone what two things come to mind when you say the word "Ireland"; Undoubtedly they would have said Guinness and the shamrock. In 2010, if you asked the same question, I have absolutely no doubts that they'd say "John" and "Edward."

John and Edward (who seem to go by the name of Jedward) are definitely born entertainers. They're funny, interesting to look at and quite sweet. But my God, they haven't got a note in their heads!
So, when the two Lucan lads rose to fame on the Xfactor I don't think anyone could have suspected just how big they'd become, and they certainly didn't suspect that one of the biggest rap artists of all time would allow them to "borrow" his most famous tune and re release it as their own. Oh, how wrong were we!

Robert Mattew Van Winkle (aka. Vanilla Ice) is an American rapper from Texas.
He wrote "Ice Ice Baby" at the age of 16, basing its lyrics upon his experiences in South Florida. The lyrics describe a drive-by shooting and are a great display of Van Winkle's rhyming skills.
The chorus of "Ice Ice Baby" originates from the signature chant of the national African American fraternity. Seaking on the song's lyrics, Van Winkle states that "If you released 'Ice Ice Baby' today, it would fit in today's lyrical respect among peers, you know what I'm sayin'? My lyrics aren't, 'Pump it up, go! Go!' My lyrics make sense, I'm sayin' somethin'. "Ice Ice baby samples the bassline of the 1982 song "Under Pressure" by Queen.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8BxbdQqMRE&feature=fvst

Although "Ice Ice Baby" sprang to number one within the first week of it's release in 1990, by 1999 it was branded by Blender magazine as "number five in the 50 worst songs ever." And let me tell you, Vanilla Ice didn't react well. In face, he went down and smashed up MTV's entire set with a baseball bat. Then, along came Jedward.

Okay, I'll admit it, I do have a soft spot for these two lads. I understand that neither of them have a note in their heads and their hair looks like something from Startreks greatest rather than something from the big bad pop world but maybe because it's because they're Irish, or maybe because it's because they've already been given so much shit from the public that I'm going to go easy on the lads.

I can't say I'm a huge fan of rap. I Think Eminem's got real talent and love his music but as far as me and rap goes, that's where our relationship ends. However, I did think Ice Ice baby was light hearted, catchy and 20 years later people are still covering it and talking about it, so I suppose it does make it a bit of a classic.
As far as Jedward goes, they'll never be superstars but they did give a pissed off rapper who never quite made it a new comeback into the public spector and no one can disagree that whilst doing so, they provided us with a hell of a lot of entertainment. And for that lads, I'm gonna say well done.

American Pie.

Well, I know that the whole aim of this blog is to criticize those who cover our classics; But, I thought that perhaps I should be a little more open minded and say that MAYBE not everyone can do a horrendous job. Take Madonna's version of Don McLean's "American Pie" for example. Absolutely amazing stuff! But, in all fairness, there's very little that Madonna can do wrong.

“American Pie” is partly biographical and partly the story of America during the idealized 1950s and the bleaker 1960s. It was inspired by Don’s memories of being a paperboy in 1959 and learning of the death of Buddy Holly.
 "American Pie” presents an abstract story of McLean’s life from the mid-1950s until the end of the 1960s, and at the same time it represents the evolution of pop music and politics over these years, but metaphorically the song continues to evolve to the present time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6uEjifqTaI

 "American Pie" is not a nostalgia song. Actually, it's quite the opposite. If you listen carefully to the lyrics of this song one could almost say that it's a song that not only looks back on the past with fond memories but it's also an artistic portrayal of how simple and beautiful life can be. I believe that this verse portrays this statement perfectly:
"Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass,
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast."

Okay, lets face facts here; Don McLeans voice is perfectly suited to deeply artistic songs such as "American Pie" and "Crying". But Madonna really is in a league of her own. She took American Pie, added new life and beautiful enthusiasm  to a song that she obviously had great admiration for. And that's not something that can be said about most covers.

I'm not gonna say that Madonna's version of American Pie is better than McLeans, that would be unfair as both are very different versions of a song from two incredibly talented artists. However, I will say that Madonna's version was definitely a heart felt one. She gave an old song a new lease of life, got it back into the charts and above all got it into the minds and the hearts of a whole different generation of followers. And for that reason Madonna all I can say is "Fair play to ya."

Guns n' Roses FTW!!

Okay, as most of you have probably gathered by this stage, I like my music. Personally speaking, I love glam rock/hair metal just as much as I love Elvis and Mr. Sinatra himself. Therefore, Guns n' Roses have always been/always will be in my opinion, probably one of the greatest glam rock bands ever to enter our headphones.

I remember the first time that I heard Sweet Child o' Mine. I was about 13 at the time. I was sitting in my dads car after school one day when it came on the radio. That's when I thought to myself "these guys are AMAZING." And from what i gathered from listening to the rest of their music over the years, I certainly wasn't wrong.

"Sweet Child o' Mine" is the third single released by the American rockstars and the third from their 1987 debut studio album Appetite For Destruction which was released on August 18, 1988. The song topped the Billboard Hot 100 chart, becoming the band's first and only number-one single. It reached number six on the UK Singles Chart and reached number 4 in Ireland.


The first time this song appeared in a movie was in 1988. It played as the credits were rolling for the movie Bad Dreams. Since then,  It has been played in the 2008 film The Wrestler featuring Micky Rourke and has also been played in many more well-known films such as Adam Sandler's Big Daddy and in the hilarious 2008 movie, Step Brothers. Needless to say, this timeless classic needed little or no more publicity. Until Taken By Trees came along, and ripped it apart.

Now, some could say that Taken by Trees did a good job at covering this song. The "some" who would say this are obviously deaf with absolutely no rhythm or appreciation for music. Never in my life have I hear such a whiny, depressing voice such as the one of Victoria Bergsman, the lead singer of Taken by Trees. I can honestly say that I've heard this song being covered better by karaoke than from this woman who seems to call herself a musician.

Throughout Bergsman's version of Sweet Child O' Mine, it constantly sounds like the girl is about to jump off a cliff. Even the opening of the song sounds like something thats about to be played in mass rather than at a rock festival. The piano work is good but where the hell is the feeling? As for the chorous, give me a break!! Her tuning is all wrong wrong, she lacks emotion and above all SHE MUMBLES some of the most amazing lyrics that was ever written. Oh dear.

Then we get to the end of the song..the grand finale that once wowed so many people with Slash's incredible guitar work and Axl's high pitched screeches and what does she do? SHE HUMS! Let me emphasise that HUMS one of the most memorable endings to any song in history. Shame on this band. Big time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dqVDQ-lF4Q

Above is the link to this atrocious cover. See what you think yourself. Then compare it to the Guns n' Roses version right here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w7OgIMMRc4.
The evidence of what I just said, speaks for itself.

In an interview with Hit Parader magazine in 1988, bassist Duff McKagan said:

"The thing about 'Sweet Child' is that it was written in five minutes. It was one of those songs, only three chords. You know that guitar lick Slash does at the beginning? It was kinda like a joke because we thought, 'What is this song? It's gonna be nothin', it'll be filler on the record.' And except that vocal-wise, it's very sweet and sincere, Slash was just messing around when he first wrote that lick"

"Sweet Child o' Mine" placed number 37 on Guitar World's's list of the "100 Greatest Guitar Solos." It also came in at number three on Blender's 500 Greatest Songs Since You Were Born, and at number 196 on Rolling Stone's The 500 Greatest Songs of all Time.

In March 2005, Q magazine placed it at number 6 in its list of the 100 Greatest Guitar Tracks. The introduction's famous riff was also voted number-one riff of all-time by the readers of Total Guitar magazine and on a recent BBC poll, the song was voted to have the "greatest guitar riff ever". Beat that Taken by Trees!

Knockin' on Heavens Door.

I'm very happy to say that I have some of the coolest people to call my friends. And most of these people are also the biggest stoners that you could meet, so it's usually either one of the two Bob's that's getting played when I go to see them in their smokey abode. Bob Dylan or Bob Marley. Not a bad combination either, in all fairness.

Take last night for example. A few of us were sitting around when Dylan's version of Knocking on Heavens Door came on. Now, I have to admit, I'm a huge Guns n Roses fan. Axl's vocal cords could stretch to Antartica and back and he'd still be in tune but Dylans version of that song never fails to blow my mind whenever I listen to it
.
"Knockin' on Heaven's Door" is a song written and performed by Bob Dylan for the soundtrack of the 1973 Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid. It describes the feelings of a dying deputy who can no longer continue his role. I believe that this is one of the most heart felt songs that Dylan has ever written. Dylan put a bit of his soul in this song which is clear when he performs it. That's another thing about covering other people's songs actually, the same amount of feeling can never go into it. It's like tracing someone else's picture, it'll just never be as good.

Over the years Knockin' on Heavens Door has been performed by numerous artists like U2, Bon Jovi, Lynyrd Skynyrd (another personal favorite of mine) and worst of all, AVRIL LAVIGNE! Someones got to be taking the piss by letting her perform that song. I can honestly say that she butchered it in everyway possible.

Speaking with one of the lads the other night about this song, he made a very valid point when he said "No one could ever cover that song as well as Dylan. You can hear in his voice the real pride and admiration he had for the deputy. It's like he knew him"

That's the thing about Dylan though, he probably did know him. Judging by a lot of his previous songs, Dylan seems to write about personal experiences. Listening to this song you can hear real emotion in his voice. He makes every single song a work of art. That's what I admire about Dylan and every other singer songwriter out there. It's such a shame to see the likes of Avril Lavigne, a girl with a lot of eye make up and very little talent butchering works of art. It really is.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVOlSR7A1ns

Music.

You see, I'm one of those people who seem to appreciate the more original things in life. I'm sure if I was at all up to date with fashion or sport then I definitely wouldn't appreciate a fake Prada bag or a copy of a Liverpool jersey. But one thing I DO appreciate is music; good, strong, original music. I don't like covers of songs. Simple as. Never have and never will. Actually I hate them.

So, the aggravation that I feel when i hear of what I believe to be some of the greatest tunes of all time being covered by some little shitty teenybopper with no respect or appreciation for music in the slightest, is not a pretty sight. I've been known to walk out of a bar if I hear a dj play a remix to what WAS an amazing tune. My bedroom is so full of old classics like Elvis and Buddy Holly that my poor mother has to step over the records when she braves her way in every now and again to make sure that there's still life amongst the shiny vinyl in the darkness.

Unfortunately, both Elvis and Buddy, along with many more of my all time favorite musical heroes have had the bad luck to have their best somgs covered by what I would not only call an amature but also, completely deaf and above all, deluded individuals who seem to believe that they could POSSIBLY cover the track better than the original artist. What a shame!

One thing I do know though, poor Elvis and Buddy would be turning in their well preserved, well deserved million dollar graves.